Eeny Meeny Miney Mo...

... run the marathon, yes or no?

This week I decided, no. I have been putting this off for months, but these are weeks when I would need to ramp up the volume of miles and the length of my long runs, so I couldn't put off the decision any longer.

I've been unfocused, undisciplined and emotional since last October. I wanted to train for another marathon because I thought it would give me structure, direction, and a mental and physical boost. And maybe if I were just running for the joy of it, that would be the case. But instead, the idea of training has been stressful, and I haven't been standing up well to the pressure. I dread runs, and skip workouts, mostly because I don't want test to test myself right now. I've been tested plenty enough lately. If running were easy for me, if I were a natural, I imagine I'd feel differently. But training for marathon requires a lot of mental effort, and I want a break from it.

I'm planning to defer my VCM entry to 2011, and think about running a fall marathon instead. I am going to keep running this spring, and racing. But the distances will be shorter, the goals smaller and the self-imposed pressure far less. Next weekend I turn 35, and I will be at the start line of the Unplugged Half Marathon on my birthday. Current forecast is an ideal 40-44 degrees, with a strong chance of rain. I have high hopes it will be a good day.


Irony alert
My friend Maria has a relay team in the Vermont City Marathon. When she put in the bid, I had planned to run that race, and we had planned for the relay team members to run along side me throughout the race. Now, I'm begging for a spot on the relay team, "Patti's Pacers."